Mineral Town Antics
by santified
Summary: It's a sad day in Mineral Town When Jack's Grandfather dies causing everyone to greave and Jack to take a trip to Mineral Town for the funeral. Little does he know what madness this Town is known for and exactly what has he gotten his self into.
1. Jack's Big Day

**Author's Note: **I wrote this story a while back when i was still faithfully on Quizilla so if there is any errors let me know. This story's ment to be a little crackish so just letting you know. (Don't attack me if people are a tad bit OC) Ummm....so yeah enjoy. Chapter 1 doesn't really get into the charaters and how 'off' they really are but chapter 2 makes up for it. Lol!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harvest moon realated except for the crackness lol. Natsume does!

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_Chapter 1: Jack's big day_

Remember the good old days?

That was all Jack was hearing as he stood in his pressed black suit at his grandfather's funeral. 'The good old days… the good old days' everyone was talking about the good old days leaving Jack who was a visitor in Mineral Town without a clue. But possibly it was to his advantage to hear about some of the town's 'Good old days' because Jack had recently pondered the idea of taking over his grandfather's old farm. At first he thought it was a crazy idea and he threw it to the side, but the more it ran through his mind the more interesting it sounded and before he knew it he found his self on a dedicated trip to Mineral Town; not only for the funeral but also to inquire about the farm.

Jack looked up as The Mayor put the gathering to an end. The Mayor was a fat chubby man; but weren't they all? Jack thought with a laugh about his own town and their fat chubby Mayor. This Mayor had dry brown hair that was under a huge top hat and a curly mustache, and even though he was at a funeral he wore a bright red jacket that ran all the way down to his feet. To Jack he looked more like a ringleader in a circus than a mayor but he shrugged it off because this was the man who was his only ticket to the farm.

With a long drawn in sigh Jack started towards the man, although just as he took the first four steps the crowd of people who had been talking about the good old days came and bombarded the mayor with comments about the service and advice on how to proceed in the next one.

Jack sighed again as he noticed that the person standing next to him was shaking their head. He turned to see a guy about his age with light orange hair that was cover by a blue baseball hat.

"Mayor Thomas is always getting bombarded by people. He's so busy with problems that don't even concern the town or him….I'm surprised he hasn't quit yet!" The guy said slowly

This resolution put Jack at ease and convinced him that the Mayor had quite enough problems to deal with and that he didn't need to add any so he gave up on the idea of asking about the farm. However inside Jack knew that the real reason he was hesitant on asking was because he had a healthy fear of confrontation. Why? That was another story. In the mean time Jack frowned and muttered: "Oh" with the upmost simplicity.

The unknown guy turned towards him and held out his hand. "I'm Gray" He stated as Jack took his hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Jack" He said in return

"…Sorry about your grandfather, he used to tell me so much about you" He said tilting his head towards the grave that was resting peacefully in the town cemetery. Jack shifted his eyes to the ground. Although he had been in Mineral Town all day this was the first sympathy expression he had received, and he couldn't help but feel a peg of sadness as he glanced at the tombstone.

Gray pulled the front of his hat down over his face to try to hide a sad look. "Yeah, well sometimes I think you're lucky!"

Jack looked up with a curiosity. "Huh?"

Gray quickly shook his hands in front of him in an apologetic way. "Nah, I didn't mean it like that. Just…my Grandfather's a real pain sometimes and sometimes it would be a heck of a lot easier to be in your shoes; that's all."

Jack couldn't help but laugh. Gray's unhappiness with his grandfather made him appreciate how kind his had been and the fact that Gray was so nonchalant about it made it hilarious. Seeing Jack burst into laughter made Gray relax enough to give a bit of a laugh himself, however as the two boys laughed an old man who had previously been talking to the mayor froze and turn slowly to give the boys a cold hard stare. "Want to put me in the grave already? Huh boy?" The man yelled towards Gray who at once stopped laughing. "Well, even if you do, you won't be getting my shop!! You hear; YOU WON'T!!!"

From the terrified expression on Gray's face and the furious one on the old man's Jack could tell that this was Gray's grandfather. The man was bald except for his long white beard which went to his waist, and he had stern wise old eyes that were currently glaring at Gray.

The old man stomped angrily on the floor with his steal toe boots. "Why I should get my mallet!! Then we'll see who does who in!! Ugh, I swear to the Harvest Goddess herself you'll think twice before saying stupid crap like that when I get through with you!" And with that the old man began walking rapidly towards Gray. With swift precision Gray pulled his hat over his face and ran quickly towards the town square; he was gone so quickly that Jack was positive that this happened on a daily basis.

Surprisingly the old man walked up to Jack and patted him gently on the shoulder. All the anger from before seemed to seep out of him as he stood in front of Jack.

"Ya wear the same look your grandfather wore whenever I yelled at Gary. Haha! It's the exact same look!!" The old man laughed lightly as Jack realized he was just sitting there gawking at the whole situation. "Ha, yeah you may not remember me but I'm Saibara the blacksmith and a very close friend of your grandfather's. " He then looked around at the other town's people who were just staring at them. "Don't you ever mind these folks!! There just so darn rude. Anyway come by my shop anytime you're in town and I'll make sure you're at home!! "After uttering those words Saibara dashed quickly for the town square.

The awkward silence that followed was extremely uncomfortable for Jack, but after a few minutes the Mayor quickly pushed past the remaining folks in front of him.

"Oh my, I am terribly sorry for my neglect. Jack right? Well, I'm Mayor Thomas and if there is anything I can do for you just simply ask!" The mayor said once he was within talking distance from him.

Jack smiled at the convenience. He had been dreaming about this opportunity for far too long and now thanks to Gray and his wacked out grandfather he finally had the chance. The Mayor saw the determination in Jack's eyes and gasp; his intent was apparent but he still voiced the request.

"I want to talk to you about my grandfather's old farm!"

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**Author's Note: **Love this chapter, it's one of my fav's. Please review. and next chapter should be up tomorrow because it's already typed.


	2. Clair Bear

**Author's Note: **Here's chapter 2. Remember ment to be completely random. Enter Clair, she's ....random.... you'll see. Also excuse Karin's speach. It's not a big massave spelling error, her words are spelled that way to....ummmm.....make a point. Relax your not supposed to understand what she's saying.

**Reviews: **I'd like to thank gnomegirl13 for reviewing!!! You rock!!!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Harvest Moon or characters; just the random events that occur to them. ^.^  
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_Chapter 2: Clair Bear _

With a sigh Jack put a heavy box down in the small cottage type house that he would now have to call his home. It was a brilliant day in Mineral Town; the sun was shining, the bees were buzzing, and the birds were chirping!!

'It's just the perfect type of day to start a farm'. He smiled to himself until something collided with him from behind.

"Can you move?" said a small but firm voice from behind the box that had bumped into him.

He sighed. "Oh ummm…sorry Clair." He said as he sidestepped from the doorway to let her in. In the commotion of starting his new farm and moving from the city Jack had to completely admit that he had forgotten that his sister was moving in with him.

The petite blonde defiantly threw the box down in the middle of the floor and then crossed her arms. Jack just sighed and shrugged it off until he noticed that the box said …Jack.

"Be careful with that!" He cried as he ran to see if anything was broken

Clair trotted quickly over to the other side of the room where two beds stood on either side of a fair sized end table. "I want this one!" She said pointing to the one on the left after gazing at them for a bit.

Jack was busy rumbling through the box and was paying little attention to his sister's decision. "Sure."

Glancing over her shoulder she could tell he wasn't listening to a word she had said; a small smirk came across her face as she got an idea. "Hmmm…I changed my mind! I want the other one!"

Jack nodded without emotion as he thoroughly went through each item that had been rested inside of the box. Clair slowly shook her head from side to side as if she wasn't happy with what she picked. "That won't do, I need to sleep by the window so I'll take the first one."

Jack looked curiously up from what he was doing at the mention of a window. "We have a window?"

"Yes!' Clair said turning around to face him while waving her hands around to display them. "We do have windows; very nice ones too!" She paused and then added: "One by the bed."

"Oh okay. He said absent mindedly and went back to the box.

"You know what? I'm sick of deciding! How about I just take both beds and you sleep on the floor?" She asked as she sat one bed and threw her small pale green rucksack on the other.

Jack didn't answer. Instead he sat still on the floor with a broken glass snow globe; trying to remember where he got it from and why he brought it.

"It's decided then!" Clair shouted happily

"What's decided?" He asked slowly

"The beds; I get both of them and you sleep on the floor!" She said simply "You said so yourself."

"NO WAY!!!" Jack said quickly, throwing the snow globe back into the box and turning his full attention to his sister, but just as he was about to get to the bottom of this scam there was a faint knock on the door.

"I'll get it." She laughed, hopping off the bed and skipping to the door.

She opened the door to find Grey leaning on the frame of the door; out of breath. Clair smiled gleefully at him; she was always fond of the concept of new neighbors.

"Hi, I'm Clair." She said extending her hand for him to shake

Grey looked at it for a moment and then took it. "I'm Grey, I was looking for Jack….you're his…." He left the sentence hanging in the hopes that she would fill in the blank and he wouldn't have to embarrass himself by saying the wrong thing.

"…Sister." She stated

"Right." Grey said quietly. An awkward silence fell over them and after about a minute Grey went bright red as he noticed that he was still holding her hand.

"Sorry!" He stammered while pulling his hat over his face to hide his blush. Luckily for him Jack pushed his way past Clair and came through the door.

"Hey Grey, what's up" He asked quickly. After the funeral and over the course of the move he and Gray had grown close.

Grey sighed with relief at Jack's presence "Gramps got homicidal with a torch blown hammer so I was hoping I could stay here till he cools off."

"Sure, no problem." Jack sighed and gave Grey a concerned look. "Was it really that bad?"

"No, I got away before he could catch me. Why?" Grey replied as he and Clair followed Jack to the field.

Jack shook his head. "Just saying because your face was red while you were at the door."

At this Grey blushed again but quickly shook it off "Ugh! Don't you have something you need to be doing? I thought farmers where always busy." His tone was a bit acidic but he didn't mean it to come off as rude; he just didn't like the idea of Jack thinking he had a crush on his little sister.

"Oh yeah." Jack murmured. He turned slowly to face them with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Hey Clair, do you want to work with animals or crops?"

"ANIMALS!!!!" She said instantly while raising her hand childishly.

Grey smiled at her immaturity as Jack motioned for them to follow him out of the farm and into the main streets. He wasn't yet familiar with the winy stone streets of mineral town so he pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper from his back pocket. The paper had a poorly drawn sketch of mineral town plastered onto it; in no time they found the place he was looking for: The poultry farm.

"…I was told we can get a free chicken here!" He said happily as they entered the farm.

The farm was very neat and prosperous looking compared to Jack's; the paint on the chicken coops was fresh and the roofs seemed sanded exactly to perfection. At once an air of envy blew past the 2 novice farmers.

"Wow….their farm is….nice…" Jack started but the three knew that the word 'nice' was an understatement.

A bouncy pink hair girl jumped quickly up to them and smiled widely. "Welcome to Poultry farm!!" She smiled warmly and then added upon seeing Gray with them. "GRAY!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU AT WORK?"

Gray looked from Jack to Clair and then to the pink haired girl. "Does it matter Popuri? It's not like I work here."

She raised an eyebrow at his sudden outburst but then turned her attention back to Jack. "What can I do you for?"

"Oh yeah, Mayor Thomas told me that we could get a free chicken here." Jack mumbled

Popuri's smile widened at the mention. "Let me just get my brother."

As soon as she walked away Gray turned to his two companions with concern. "Okay, I just need to warn you that the people in this town are a little off…"

"Off? As in freakishly nice? Because that's the only problem I see!" Clair smirked

"No, I mean like Popuri's brother Rick is chicken obsessed."

Jack and Clair exchanged a look before busting out in hysterical laughter. "Chicken obsessed? Jack asked, whipping tears from his eyes

Gray glanced at Popuri and a blond haired boy walking in their direction. "You'll see."

The boy gave them a smile and extended his hand to shake Jack's. "Hi, I'm Rick. So you say you want a chicken?"

Jack nodded with a small "Yep" for emphasis. Rick's happy expression quickly changed to a serious one and he began squeezing Jack's hand to the point of numbness.

"Are you REALLY ready to raise a chicken? It's no joke you know!! It's a lot of time, care, feeding, and talking…." He screamed until Popuri yanked him quickly away from Jack. "Rick calm down! I'm sure he'll take good care of a chicken."

Jack tenderly massaged his hand and looked at Gray and Clair for help but they just stood with wide eyes and looks of disbelief. "Clair's the one going to be taking care of the animals." He added quickly before Rick could harass him anymore.

Rick eyed Clair critically before asking "Do YOU think you can really care for a chicken?"

"…Not anymore…." Clair stuttered as she tried to back away towards the exit of the farm.

"Of course she will!!" Popuri smiled and then grabbed a chicken from the group that was pecking happily in the fields and handed it to Clair. "Here!"

"Her name is Henrietta, treat her like she was your own." Rick sighed petting the thing on the head.

Clair turned to Jack and whispered lightly. "Don't we get to name it?"

"Name it?!!!! SHE is a girl and her name is Henrietta!!!" Rich screamed; startling the three before him. He then sighed in defeat and then looked at his sister. "Popuri, is Mom done cooking yet?"

"No, I'm supposed to be going to the store first….we ran out of eggs." She said as she began walking towards the house.

"Eggs? We have plenty of eggs!!!" Rick called after her as he followed at a much slower pace

"No the artificial eggs."

"OMG, POPURI!!! YOU TRAIDER!!!!! HOW COULD YOU?"

"Rick, eating real eggs every day is fattening and bad for your health!!!" She sighed and then walked inside of the house.

"A likely excuse!!!" He also went inside the house and the door closed quickly.

The three stayed quiet for a moment after the scene was over. "You know, it kind of scares me that I have to come back here for feed." Clair sighed; breaking the silence.

"I tried to tell you!" Gray smirked while pulling his hat further over his face.

"Put the chicken….I mean Henrietta in the chicken coop and I'll go to the store to get some stuff for dinner." Jack told his sister.

She looked at the chicken in her hands with concentration. "Your name's Serena." And she walked slowly back towards to farm.

Jack and Gray walked slowly to the general store and before walking in Jack turned to Gray. "Is there anything you need to tell me before we go in?"

Gray sighed "Karin's kind of a drunk."

"Kind of?" Jack asked as they walked inside the store to hear hiccupping coming from behind the counter. "Hello?"

The two jumped as a tall blond lady appeared from behind the counter; tottering and holding a whisky bottle. "…WHAT?!! WHO'S THERE?!!"

"Uhhhh…Me; Gray and the new farmer Jack." Gray stammered; holding his nose as the smell of whiskey filled the room.

"AH!!! Jjjjj…*Hiccup*ack!??? Nice to …*hiccup* mmmeet Chu." She said as she stumbled from behind the counter to Jack and held out her hand for him to shake.

"What?!" Jack whispered to Gray who shrugged as Karin fell onto Jack's shoulder.

"Listen!!!! YYyyyourcute!!" Karin smiled as she moved her drunken face next to his. "How about a kiss?"

Jack struggled to hold his breath and push Karin away. Thankfully, Gray grabbed Karin's arm and got her off of him. "Karin, Get off of him!"

"Grrr *Burp*ay, your no fun!!!! Ah waz just gonna kiss em!" She whined

"Jack doesn't want anything to do with you!!! He just wants to buy some food!!"

Karin looked towards Jack to see if this was true; he nodded. "That's all *hiccup* any one wants!! They never *Hiccup* want to talk to me!!!!" She covered her face leaving Jack and Gray to raised questioned eyebrows at each other. After a few seconds of random sobs Karin looked at the two before her with narrowed eyes. "YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!??? FUCK BOTH OF CHU *hiccup*!!!!"

She then began to throw random objects from the shelves at the two who quickly ran out the door and into the town square to avoid the aerial assault. "OMG, what the heck?" Jack asked after they had caught their breath. "KINDA a drunk?"

Gray laughed lowly at how Jack was adjusting to the town, and then laughed harder as he realized something Jack didn't. "You know you forgot the food right?"

Jack's eyes widened. "Crap, what are we going to eat?"

Gray placed a hand on his shoulder "Just go to the inn. The foods alright."

Jack nodded as they headed to the farm to check on Clair. Jack had an uneasy feeling about leaving Clair alone at the farm; she fit TOO well into the town for him to be able to trust her on his farm alone.

Just as soon as he thought it and they turned the corner to get to the ranch, the smell and sight of flames set Jack's heart in a frenzy.

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**Author's Note:** YAY random fire!!!  
Please Review and give any suggestions on what random thing could happen to poor Jack.


	3. The Conspiracy of Life

**Author's note:** YAY Chapter 3 is up finally!!! Sorry for the 2day delay but my brothers kiddnaped me and forced me to play Super Mario Broes Wii with then. It's safe to say i'm free now because we beat it. It's funny though because when i read this over it has a bit of a plot going on. 0.o (Oops!) Anyway this chapter's also a bit long; It was 8 pages on microsoft word!!! (But i know the longer the better).

**Reviews:** I'd like to thank once again gnomegirl13 and Cassandra Recarndo for reviewing. Thanks guys for the support and Cassandra i love your idea but i'll save it for just a little bit later so it can seem more random, so keep an eye out for it in later chapters.

**Disclaimer: **DOn't own Harvest Moon or the main Characters in the game; Jack and Clair. Just the random events that happen to them.

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_Chapter 3: The conspiracy of life _

"CLAIR!!! WHY IS THE FIELD ON FIRE?" Jack couldn't help but scream when he finally found his sister who was seated in front of the chicken coop next to Henrietta/ Serena. She didn't look the least bit concerned about what was going on in the field; in fact she looked as if she was thoroughly enjoying it.

"You know, I really don't know." She answered slowly; watching the flames simmer

"Why aren't you trying to put it out?" Jack and Gray were running back and forth in and out of the house filling buckets of water and throwing them on the fire.

"See, I figure this is a good way to get rid of all of those weeds that were in the field." She smiled; evidence enough that she was the cause of it. The fire was put out before long and she skipped to the two exhausted boy's side and smiled. "See, I told you all the weeds would be gone."

Jack surveyed the now barren field before him; there were defiantly no weeds left, but there also weren't any wood or stones either. "I guess." He sighed finally.

"This sucks!" Gray exclaimed taking off his hat, whipping the sweat from his brow, and putting it back on again. "I worked harder than if I would have just gone to work."

"Isn't your grandfather going to be mad because you left early?" Jack asked as he sat on the floor

"He was already mad. He'll just make me work harder tomorrow." Gray sighed and looked towards the exit of the farm "I'm going to head off soon; have to make a few stops before I go to the Inn." He turned to Jack. "I'll see you there right?"

Jack nodded and then turned to Clair "We're eating at the Inn tonight okay?

"What happened to going to the store?" She asked, both boys looked at each other and then shook their heads.

"Long story." Was all the answer she received from either of them.

Clair tilted her head and looked at her brother; who was sprawled on the ground trying to catch his breath from putting out the fire. She wondered how he was going to fair as a farmer if he was tired after just running a couple hundred laps. She then turned her attention to Gray; who caught her shameless staring. He blushed lightly and pulled his hat further over his face to hide it. Clair tilted her head even more at this and pondered the idea that Gray could be cute under that hat. With that she swiftly walked up to him and snatched the hat promptly off of his head.

A look of awe stained Gray's face as he stared at a smirking Clair who was holding his hat in her hand thinking to herself that she was right; Gray was cute without his hat on.

"Give Gray back his hat!" Jack sighed from where he lay on the ground but instead of making her hand it back to him, Clair took that as her cue to RUN!!!

She ran from the farm and immediately she heard the pitter patter of someone running after her, so she ran inside of the first building she saw; the Blacksmith's shop.

"Can you hide me?" She asked while running in place at the counter. Saibara came from the back room and raised an eye brow at the young girl.

"I take it your Jack's Sister Clair…" He stated; she nodded her head quickly. "What in the good Goddess do you need hiding from?" She showed him her stolen contents and his stern gaze quickly turned into an amused one.

He ushered her behind the counter where she crouched down and hid. "This town needs someone with a sense of humor like you." He added but then quieted down as Gray walked in; hatless.

"Did someone go through here?" He asked quickly; scanning the shop with his eyes.

"No one in particular." Saibara grumbled as he counted the money in the register; it was getting close to closing time.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, this sweet blonde girl skipped through here not too long ago. But I know you couldn't be looking for her." He said while shuffling through some coins.

"Where did she go?"

"Wouldn't be interested, would you boy? I didn't take her to be your type... actually I didn't take the female gender in general to be your type, but anyway you shouldn't be wasting all your days doing that! You have work to do!!"

Clair barely concealed her laughter as the room went silent and a very prominent slam of the door could be heard after it. She got up from behind the counter and hugged the old man. "Thanks!! I owe you one."

After leaving the shop Clair found that the sun was rapidly falling and in a couple of minutes it would be dark. She thought it would be better if she went to the inn next instead of another shop so she went to the large building and let out a sigh of relief when she realized that neither her brother nor Gray were anywhere in site. She put Gray's hat over her blonde head and walked to the counter to be greeted by a smiling red head. "Hi, welcome!! You must be new; I'm Ann."

"Hi Ann, I'm Clair. I was wondering if I can find out were Gray's room is." Clair asked pointing to the hat on her head so Ann could understand.

She nodded and winked to let her know that she understood. "Upstairs ,first room on your right."

Clair hurried up the stairs and into the room where she shut the door; placing her back against it and sighed. The door that she guessed lead to the bathroom opened and a boy with brown hair walked out secretly carrying a pocket knife; his eyes widened when he saw Clair.

"Hey, I'm Clair!!" She exclaimed happily; holding out her hand and smiling widely

"……" The boy remained silent; huddling up against the wall with the deer caught in the headlights look in his eyes.

She tilted her head and stepped closer to him. Upon lightly touching his arm she noticed the rough feel of new and old scares that were scattered along both the limbs. "Do you cut yourself?"

At that exact moment the door was kicked open by a furious Ann who marched quickly towards the two and pushed Clair into one of the two beds that was in the room. "What are you doing with MY Cliff?!!?"

Clair hadn't the slightest clue what she was talking about so she furrowed her brow and said "Huh?"

Ann hugged Cliff possessively and spun around to face her again. "I leave you for 5 seconds and you're sexually abusing him!! I thought you were Gray's girlfriend!!!!

"Gray? Who said I was with Gray?"

"Well, then why do you have his hat? You were just trying to get into this room so you can gang rape my Cliff!!! It's a conspiracy I tell you!" Ann yelled as Cliff slipped from her grasps and retreated back into the confides on the bathroom with his trusty pocket knife.

By this time Clair had stopped paying attention to whatever random crack Ann was screaming about and was thinking about a word Ann had used. She had never heard this word before and imagined how much more colorful her vocabulary would be if she learned it. "What's a conspiracy?"

"You know….an evil plot or scandal!" Ann glared; not quite sure what the word meant herself.

Clair got off the bed she had been sitting on and headed down stairs where Jack and Gray were sitting at a small table.

"I found another town nutcase!" She exclaimed as she sat at the table catching both the boy's attention.

"Where have you been?" Jack asked looking at her

"….Around."She murmured lightly. Gray gently reached over to where she sat and slide his hat off of her head and returned it to his. All was well at the table until Clair let out a small peep of "Conspiracy…"

"What was that?" Jack asked; he felt nervous about not keeping too much of an eye on her because when he did that things tended to end up going crazy.

"This whole town is full of conspiracies!!!" Clair stated slamming her fist down on the table to emphasis her point.

Gray looked at Clair in disbelief and then to Jack who face palmed. "Is she a conspiracy theorist?"

"Please, she wouldn't be one even if she knew what the word meant!" Jack sighed "Clair what in the world makes you think this town is full of conspiracies?"

She shrugged and he plainly slammed his head on the table.

A shy looking girl came to the table carrying yellow flyers; her black braided hair swung as she steadied her glasses. "…The library is having a sale tomorrow, and we would appreciate it if you'd come." She stated while handing flyers to both Gray and Jack; who were blushing fervently.

"Sure, Mary. We'll be there." Gray said quietly; never taking his eyes off the girl.

She smiled and turned to Jack. "I don't think we've met. I'm Mary. I work and the Library."

Jack smiled "I'm Jack, the new farmer."

The two shook hands; the touch of their skin caused them both to blush and the idea that it just might be wise to offer to walk her home floated through Jack's mind. The tranquil scene was interrupted by a loud shout of "CONSPIRACY!!!" from Clair who pointed an accusing finger at Mary, causing the idea to leave Jack at once.

"Excuse me?" Mary asked, turning to Clair who was still pointing at her.

"I sense a conspiracy!!!" Clair shouted even louder, causing everyone who was in the inn to turn and stare at the group, causing the ever so shy Mary to turn red and use the rest of the flyers in her hand to hide her face.

Both Jack and Gray jumped to their feet "Mary…." They both said in unison, with the intent on offering to walk the girl home; stopping to look at each other they noticed that there was going to be a bump in their friendship if this issue wasn't solved properly. So Jack took it upon himself to push Gray on the floor and offered to walk Mary home before things got any worse. She accepted and they left the inn.

Clair laughed as Gray got off the floor and sat back in his chair. "I think he likes her."

"No kidding! Did you see the way he shoved you on the floor?" Clair exclaimed; laughing hysterically. "He was like 'Move bitch!!'"

Gray rolled his eyes and mumbled a light "He can have her. I just hope he knows what he's getting himself into." as Clair began to go on about Conspiracies again.

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Jack was walking happily down the streets of Mineral Town. He had just dropped off Mary at her home and had received a sweet peck on the cheek for his good deed so at the moment he was the happiest person alive.

Until he realized he was lost.

At night all the buildings looked the same and the streets were blurred by the darkness. He felt the need to go back to the inn and ask Gray which way his farm was but then he remembered how he had pushed him on the floor.

And thus he was all alone in a 'Strange' town, with strange places and even stranger people. He was so engrossed in his own thought he hardly noticed that he had bumped into to someone in the darkness. The only thing that gave it away was the fact that the person spun around and shined a bright yellow flashlight in his face. "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!!?"

Jack attempted to scream but the person's hands clamped over his mouth and he was promptly dragged to the beach where thanks to the shallow moon light he found that his captor was a police officer who held his finger to his mouth. "Shhhhhhhhh!!!!"

The officer let go of Jack's mouth and sighed. "Sorry, thought you were the enemy. My names Harris and I'm doing a drug bust tonight. Want to help?"

Jack frantically shook his head; no. All he wanted to do was go home. To his dismay though the guy wasn't paying attention to his answer.

"Great, come on!" Harris grabbed Jack's hand and dragged him to a house that set on the beach. Freezing slightly until Harris kicked down the front door shouting "Freeze!!!"

Jack walked into the house to see Zack; the shipper he had met a few days ago holding his hands up. He covered his nose as the smell of fresh weed filled the air while Harris handcuffed Zack and lead him out of the house. "Thanks for the tip Jack; I couldn't have done it without you!!" Harris smiled.

Zack sent a heated glare towards Jack "You sold me out?!!"

Jack's eyes widened "What?!! I didn't even know you did drugs. I didn't say anything to him, I swear!!"

"I'll get you!! I'll get you!!" Zack screamed until he and Harris turned the corner and left Jack alone and once again 'lost' on the beach.

After wandering around for another 2 hours Jack finally managed to make his way to the farm at around 3:30am. He went inside to find Clair fast asleep in the bed closest to the window and her rucksack and shoes on the other. Not wanting to deal with anything else Jack kindly (In him perspective) dumped Clair's things onto the floor and jumped into bed where he fell quickly into a deep slumber.

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The two farmers awoke at about 9:45, declared that they were already late and slept again until noon. When it was time to finally get up Clair fed Serena some hay she found on the floor of the coop because she refused to buy anything from Rick. When she came out of the coop she saw that her brother staring somberly at the barren waste land they called a field.

"What's wrong?" She asked him

"I need seeds…" He sighed but waved the problem away from Clair. "Let's just go to the library and get some books."

They walked into the tall building to find Mary scribbling away on a piece of paper at the reception desk. She looked up as the door closed behind. "Oh welcome."

"Hey, Mary." Jack smiled; rubbing the back of his head and blushing

Clair walked swiftly up to the counter and asked broadly "Do you have Dr. Seuss?"

Mary blinked at her for a moment "No, we don't have any of his books in."

"WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF FREAKING LIBRARY IS THIS?!!" Clair shouted loudly; her voice echoing in the once quiet library.

"Clair how about you go buy me some seeds?" Jack said jumping quickly to her side.

She nodded without really wanting to do it and walked quickly towards the general store. As she was about to walk into the store her attention was caught by Cliff walking into the church. Her curiosity got the best of her and she walked to one of the windows. Looking inside she saw The Pastor sitting next to the boy, 'stroking his arm', and whispering into his ear. Clair gasped at what she had seen. "A conspiracy!" She whispered softly as she tried to go around in the hopes of getting a better look. To the side of the church rested an array of trees and in the middle of the trees was a tiny house. Tiny people wearing pointy hats were coming in and out of the house singing and smiling.

"OMG, tiny people!!!" Clair gasped as she saw them.

They turned abruptly and looked at her with wide eyes. "You can see us?" The one in red asked

"Well, yeah." She screamed holding her head

The tiny people huddled together for a moment, nodded in agreement, and then turned to her. "Would you like to join us for a tea party?"

_______________

Jack felt horrible although he smiled happily. Mary had swindled him into buying what felt like half the books in the library. He had to admit; she was pretty but also very persuasive.

"OMFG!!! JACK!!! I FOUND A CONSPIRACY!!" Clair shouted as she busted through the door. "ISAWLITTLEPEOPLE!!!"

Jack face palmed while Mary sighed. "What are you talking about Clair? Speak clearly!"

Clair ran up to Jack, stopped to catch her breath, and then grabbed Jack's shoulders. "I SAW LITTLE PEOPLE!!!"

He backed away from the girl; she was screaming into his face and the eco from the walls wasn't helping. "Little people?" he asked in disbelief.

"YES LITTLE PEOPLE!!!! I SAW THEM IN THE FOREST!!! I DID!!! I HAD TEA WITH THEM!" Clair screamed, frantically flailing her arms around.

"Really?" Jack asked. His interest in the topic was purely sincere and it was shown by the spark in his eyes.

WELL, DUH!! I DON'T JUST MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!"

Mary put her hand on Jack's shoulder and whispered into his ear. "You're not really buying this absurd story are you? It obviously couldn't have happened!"

Jack winced at the sound of her voice and felt a peg of panic serge through him when he saw the look of disapproval in Mary's face. "Clair you're in a library! Did you forget? Shut up!!! There are no little people in the forest and you did NOT have tea with them. Where do you come up with these things?"

Clair shut her mouth and blinked back what could have been tears. "Yyou…don't believe me?"

Jack couldn't stand seeing his sister like this; however Mary was very convincing; so he nodded solemnly and cast her away.

Clair clinched her fists tightly and stomped her foot. "Fine"

She walked to the door and before walking out she yelled; "FINE!!! I'LL GO TELL GRAY!! HE CARES!! HE'LL BELIEVE ME!!" And with that she slammed the door; leaving Mary relieved and Jack with a hole in his heart.

"I'm glad she left; your sister can be such a bother." Mary sighed sitting back down at her desk

"You don't like Clair?" he asked anger suddenly building in him. It was her fault he shunned Clair in the first place.

"Oh no, it's not that…it's just she couldn't have possibly seen Harvest Sprites! They don't exist!!"

Jack narrowed his eyes at the word 'Harvest Sprites'. How could she know what the little people Clair was talking about be called if they don't exist? He was starting to understand what Clair had meant when she pointed to Mary and shouted about some sort of conspiracy that night in the inn. He grabbed the books he had bought and headed for the door; now confused and didn't know what to believe anymore. He had to apologize to Clair and try to find out whether his sister was telling the truth or not and then defiantly make sure Gray wasn't still upset about the whole thing that happened at the inn.

When he reached the blacksmith's shop he found Gray idly hammering away at a metal rod and Clair sitting on the counter dangling her feet; they both looked up as he came in.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately." He said with his head down and eyes closed; the face of a truly sorry person stood before the two and they couldn't resist it.

"You're forgiven!" Clair stated for both parties

"You know, Mary's a compulsive liar right?" Gray smirked from under his hat

"No way!! Then they did have Dr. Seuss in that library!!' Clair exclaimed; shaking her head from side to side. "I told you this town was filled with conspiracies!"

"You could have told me before!!!" Jack gaped

"I'll try to remember that the next time you meet a new person." Grey said causing Clair to snort at the irony and Jack to face palm. What was his life coming to? It seemed as if the Harvest Goddess herself was conspiring against him, but then there was that word again and Jack suddenly thought that maybe the harvest sprites could explain to him this conspiracy fate had plotted against him.

Although Jack's life seemed to be filled with crazy random events he felt that everything would be okay in the end if he took things one day at a time….or it would just get worst. Either way he saved his thoughts of the future for another day.

Little did he know that the days to come would be even worst that his firsts. Clair thought Mineral Town was full of conspiracies but she hadn't seen Jack's life.

* * *

  
**Author's Note:** So now Jack thinks the Harvest Goddess is out to get him. hmmm......i sense a theme comming on. Just kidding.  
Review and tell me what you think.


	4. Let's NOT go to church!

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took so long!! I swear it's not my fault!!! With AP testing and the SAT coming up I really have been spending a ton of time studying. Anyway, I did this chapter about a week ago….just forgot to post it. ^//^ My bad. This chapter isn't as funny as the ones I have in mind to be the next two.

**Reviews:** Thanx 4 the reviews!! I make an effort to try and update depending on reviews. Thank you gnomegirl13 for another review (Your so awesome!) I love your idea but I'd have to wait to make it more of a surprise. Keep a look out for it because I will put it in!

Thank you and enjoy!!!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything but the awkward moments and crazy events however; I share full custody with my readers because on occasion I do steal your ideas.

_

* * *

__Chapter 4: Let's **NOT** go to church!_

It was a plain Sunday morning in Mineral Town; there was no wind blowing and the sun was just hot enough to warm the body to the perfect temperate. Yes, truly a grand day if Jack hadn't woken up with a throbbing headache.

The kitchen scene was as expected; Clair smiling happily in front of a rather large bowl of cornflakes, kicking her feet and humming a catchy tune she had heard the other day as Jack sat hunched over in his chair, holding his head and hoping that he wasn't catching a cold.

"Clair, Can you stop humming? I have a Headache and you're not helping!" He moaned helplessly looking down at the plate of freshly made pancakes that he didn't even want anymore. Clair stopped humming to take another bite of her cornflakes and then pointed her spoon accusingly at her unsuspecting brother.

"The reason your head hurts is because it's Sunday." She stated simply before taking another bite of her meal

"…And?" He asked quickly.

"…And it's been like forever and you haven't gone to Church!"

Jack's eyes widened "You know you're right. It has been a while…but do you really think that's why?"

Clair nodded her head "Yep, it's a sign. The Harvest Goddess hates you!"

At this Jack sat up in his chair. "What about you? You haven't been to church for as long as I have!" He thought this while he remembered back to the time they had went to church…it was about a year ago.

"Don't bring your jinx on me!" Clair said getting up and putting her dishes away

Jack sighed and looked out the window at the sun bathed fields that he had yet to water, it just felt like one of those days that would end up toping the growing list of worst days he's spent in mineral town.

…But who knew? It could just be he's imagination.

There was a brief rap on the door that brought Jack back to reality. He slunk to the door and opened it to find Grey standing in front of the door.

"Hey." Jack sighed as he let Gray in and shut the door.

Clair quickly rushed over to Gray and pulled him into a bone crushing embrace. "Great! Gray, you're just in time!"

"For what?" He asked struggling to get free from her grip

"Jack and I were just about to go to church!! You can come with us!" She then ran to her bed, grabbed her rucksack and pushed the two out the door.

* * *

It didn't take the group long before they reached the church. As they came to the front of the door Clair turned to the others. "I'll be there in a sec. I just want to say hi to the little people in the forest, kay?"

Jack and Gray each nodded and headed in the door as Clair skipped off to the side of the church. The church as expected was lined with pews and at the end of the rows stood a stand. It was at this particular stand that a certain pastor was flipping through pages of a book; smirking slyly and….sweating?

"Is there anything I need to know about this guy?" Jack asked, turning to Gray. He had a bad feeling about this place. It was Sunday morning and they were the only ones in the church….he didn't know if it was just him or was this scene a little….well….off.

In his defense Gray shrugged. "I don't know about this guy. Nobody has time to go to church; we just place our offerings in the spring and call it a day."

"So you're saying you can't help me?"

"What part of NOBODY comes here do you not get?"

It was then that the boys had to stop their conversation because said pastor slide over to them; grinning widely. "Welcome, you two must be new."

Jack nodded and Gary did the same. At this he noticed a light twinkle in the man's eye but he immediately dismissed it.

"Well, come take a seat." He ushered them to the front pew where they each sat and exchanged worried looks. "You'll have to excuse me for a minute. I have to prepare the confessional, but It'll only take a moment." He said in a hush tone as he rubbed Jack's shoulder for a minute making Jack's eyes widened at the action. The boys went into a rapid fit of whispering as the man walked inside of the confessional.

"Oh my goddess, he just felt you up!" Gray whispered frantically

"I know. What the heck?! This is church!!"

The two sat there for a minute thinking about the situation at hand until and muffled voice came from inside the confessional. "I'll there in just a second. It takes so long to prepare. You just don't know how tight your chambers can be. But don't worry, we can fix that. I'm going to open your chambers…wide….."

On that note both Jack and Gray were out of there before they could hear another word because neither of them had any intentions of having their chambers opened.

After they were safely outside of the tall wooden doors that belonged to the seemingly deserted church they breathed a sigh of relief and then exchanged an awkward look. It was a sign that the two boys were completely determined to never utter a single word about what they had just endured (No matter how mild It had been). And they were completely bent on the idea until Clair came from around the side of the church and said in a sing song voice; "Where you guys waiting for me?"

Jack's raised his eyes too look at Clair and he then realized that she was carrying an array of items. "Where'd you get all that stuff from?"

She glanced at the tall bag of flour, the yellow can of curry powder, and the clear bottle of cooking oil she had bunched in her arms and shrugged. "The little people gave them to me…"

"You know their called Harvest Sprites, right?" Gray sighed; and upon seeing that she was struggling to hold everything, leaned over and took the curry powder and flour off her hands.

Clair brushed off Gray's comment and began heading for the church doors. Jack; in a sense of panic grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Clair….Let's…not go to church…" He suggested with an unmistakable enthusiasm.

"Why." She asked puzzled as she shifted the bottle of cooking oil from one arm to the other.

"Because…." Jack began; he was racking his brain for a reasonable excuse. It would make him very uncomfortable to tell his sister he was just harassed by a preacher.

Gray saved the moment "Because, no one goes to church in this town." Jack nodded in agreement; it was very clear now to him why this was true. "We just go and place an offering to the Goddess in the Goddess pond."

Clair looked at the two for a brief minute and smiled. "Okay, what does she like?"

"Uhhhhh….flowers….and…" Gray started but before he could finish she had started to run towards the direction of the pond. The two followed quietly and when the group reached the spring Jack found it to be one of the most beautiful places in Mineral Town.

Flowers grew here and there, the water was a crispy blue, and the air seemed much more pure; obviously proof enough that this place was the pond where the Goddess resided. Before he could register what was going on Clair had shoved the cooking oil into his arms, plucked a flower from the ground, and was about to drop it into the water.

"Clair don't you think Jack should be the one to put it into the spring?" Gray suggested which caused Clair to look at him with a look of disbelief. "..I mean, since he's the whole reason we came…"

"But….but Gray, I'll never get to do this ever again!" After she uttered this Gray simply shook his head at her and she caved.

"Fine! GO have all the fun! Meany!" She pouted as she handed the flower over to him.

Jack took quick unmeasured steps as he moved closer to the pond; all while fumbling with the delicate flower and the heavy oil bottle.

It was probably because he didn't put down the oil bottle. It could also have been because he wasn't taking the care to watch his footing, or it could simply have been some divine beings that lived miles away on a far off, almost deserted island who just wanted to screw him over. But then that would bring back up the topic of conspiracies again and that was last chapter. All and all no one at the moment could pinpoint exactly why it happened.

But it did. And I'm just going to say it plainly…

Just as Jack was close to the edge of the spring, he tripped on a very small pebble and he fell right on the bottle of oil; sending glob's of it into the pure water of the spring.

"Oh Goddess…" Gray whispered

"Oh….that sucks." Clair stated simple

Jack lied motionless on the ground; he was too afraid and too shocked to even sit up. He watched in horror as the once pure waters turned a rancid yellow and the center of the spring began to bubble.

He breathed a quick prayer that the Harvest Goddess wouldn't be there, but what Jack was finally beginning to notice was that life never cut him any slack. He understood this when a very displeased Harvest Goddess emerged from the waters covered in the greasy stuff.

She didn't even have to say anything! She glared daggers at the 3, and sent shivers down each of their spines; it was also at that moment that all 3 of our poor unfortunate town's folk began to wonder frightfully whether their Goddess was a vengeful one.

"HE DID IT!" Both Clair and Gray frantically shouted while pointing at Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes and did a mental face palm. He had seen that coming; they were amazing friends but in a situation like this…let's just say if the roles had been switched he would have left them for dead.

The Goddess stayed stiff as a statue as she centered he attention on Jack. "Jack, is this some kind of sick joke?!"

Before he could muster up the courage to respond she went on. "Well, of course it was! Yes, a funny…FUNNY joke!" She growled and then went into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Jack slowly lifted himself into a sitting position as the Goddess touched her hair and then shrieked! "DID THE WITCH PUT YOU UP TO THIS?!"

Clair nudged Gray "There's a witch?"

Gray shrugged and shushed her as the Goddess floated over to Jack.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT POSSESED YOU TO DO THIS TO ME, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! SO HELP ME, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER FOR ALL OF YOUR DAYS!!!!" She screamed at him and then promptly floated back to the pond where she disappeared beneath the waters.

Jack wasn't even breathing anymore; his chest felt tight and his eyes were bulged. And even though the worst seemed to be over there still was the fact that the Harvest Goddess actually hated him now.

* * *

"Well, maybe she was kidding?" Clair smiled in an attempt to cheer Jack up on the way home. He hadn't spoken a word since the incident and it was really starting to worry her.

"Let's hope so." Gray sighed; he was still carrying Clair's curry powder and flour, but he didn't mind. In fact, as much as he hated to admit it he actually liked carrying things for her…but of course he would never tell Jack or anyone else, in a sad kind of way he was hoping the feeling he got when he was around Clair would pass.

When they walking onto the farm they were agape, their across the field where the chicken coop was supposed to be lied a pile of rubble.

Clair quickly ran to the pile and began tossing through the things. "Serena?...Serena?" she called hopelessly because obviously there was no Serena in sight. When Jack and Gray reached the pile of broken wood and hey, Clair hugged Jack tightly.

"Jack, Serena's gone!" She breathed heavily into his shoulder "That means no eggs, no money, and worst of all do you know what Rick will do to us?"

They all shuddered at that idea.

This mournful scene was interrupted by the light sound of clucking. Looking down everyone noticed the very healthy and safe Serena picking at some weeds in the middle of the field.

"Ooooooh yeeeeaah……I forgot I took her out the coop." Clair laughed; completely cured from the scene.

Jack bent down and picked up a small piece of paper with the words 'REVENGE WILL BE SWEET' written on it. He studied it for a minute before displaying it to the rest of his group.

"Oh crap!!! Do you think it's the Goddess?" Clair said snatching the note away from him.

"Who else would it be?! Jack sighed somberly "I'm not even sure I have enough money to get it fixed"

"Might as well get it priced." Gray said eyeing the entrance to the forest

Clair took the items Gray was holding for her and turned towards the house. "You guys go, I'll go put these things away."

Jack and Gray walking into the forest and found an undersized log cabin smack dab in the middle of the woods. When they walked in the smell of sawdust and gun smoke was the first thing that hit them.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Jack whispered as he eyed a large white poster board that was stapled to the back wall that read

'Gotz Carpentry: You want it? We Gotz it! …and if we don't…that's your problem!'

Jack felt uneasy; this place screamed bad influence and the random bullet holes all around the shop proved it. Gray rang the bell that sat on the counter before turning to Jack.

"This is the only carpentry in town…" He mumbled as a huge scruffy looking man came up to the counter.

"What do ya want?" He boomed looking from Gray's wide eyes to Jack's apparent expression of fear.

"…Ummm….We're looking for Gotz…the carpenter…" Jack stammered quickly

"That'll be me! Ya know my supplier's out of commission. So I'z ant'z gotz alot of the stuff right now!"

"What stuff?!" Gray asked lowly "…Wood?"

The Gotz smiled "If yah wanna call it that."

Jack and Gray exchanged questioned looks. "What are you talking about!?"

"Yah know! I got the stuff! Yah know that LSD and speed. You name it, I gotz it!" He smiled while crossing his arms over his chest.

The two before him nearly fainted.

"YOU'RE A DRUG DEALER!?!?" Jack exclaimed until Gotz pulled a hand gun out from under the counter and pointed towards him.

"What of it? You not a cop, are yah?"

Jack shook his head very quickly until he placed the gun back where it was previously.

"You probably came here fo sum wood like thing huh?" He asked while looking at the two before him. "Tell yah what, You help me get rid of that nosy cop tonight and I'll make yo stuff on the house."

He didn't wait for an answer; he walked quickly into the back room, leaving the two to shoot worried looks.

"How many drug dealers does this town have?" Jack asked after a few seconds of silence

Gray turned to him with a confused look "What?"

"You know, Zack was one too…."

"NO way! Speaking of him…where has he been lately? Haven't seen him around."

"Oh, he's….kind of in jail." Jack had to confess; he didn't think he would be retelling the story of what happen his first night in the town.

"And you saw all this?" Gray asked looking amazed

"Yeah, Harris basically forced me to help him with the bust!" Jack exclaimed.

The conversation was interrupted by the booming voice of Gotz. "…BITCH, YOU SOLD OUT MY HOMMIE? FUCK YOU, I'LL KILL YO AZZ!!!"

It was then that the two boys ran screaming like girls from the woods while being shot at by a drug dealer with two rifles.

Jack and Gray breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the porch of Jack's house.

"Oh my Goddess! I'm done!" Jack cried as he slunk down to a sitting position.

"What do you mean?" Gray asked as he sat down next to him.

"I hate my life!" He sighed putting his head into his hands

"…You're not going to get all emo on me now are you?" Gray crossed his arms and glared at Jack. "I get enough of that from my roommate, Cliff."

This made Jack laugh; he had heard many stories from Clair about the paranoid guy who cuts himself in Gray's room. "No, I mean that this sort of thing didn't happen in the city." He nodded as he tried to remember his boring life. "Yeah….and the only crazy person I had to deal with was Clair."

"Clair's not crazy compared to the town's people here." Gray smiled and Jack nodded

"EVEYONE here's crazy!" Jack cried as he put his head down in defeat

"Look on the bright side!" Gray said in a 'cheer up' voice.

"What?!"

"You haven't even met everyone yet!"

Jack groaned in response "I'm just glad your normal! I don't think I would be able to take it if you weren't."

"Thanks." Gray smiled as he got up.

* * *

Jack came into the house about an hour later. Gray had successfully cheered him up by the time he had to leave, so he came in smiling….until he saw what was in his bed.

Serena was walking around and scratching ideally at his pillow.

"CLAIR!!!! WHY IS THE CHICKEN IN MY BED!?!?"

Clair peeked her head into the room from the kitchen. "Because she's cold and doesn't have a place to sleep."

"Why is she in my bed then?!"

"Well, it was kinda your fault that her coop got destroyed….soooooooo….you sleep on the floor."

Jack stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds before he finally realized that she was serious." Why do I get the feeling that you're always trying to get me to sleep on the floor." He mumbled before getting some quilts from the cabinet and settling a spot in front of his bed. He laid his head on the array of covers and eventually ended up falling asleep.

* * *

That night, Jack had the feeling he was being watched. At first he thought it was just the chicken mocking him but, when he started to hear laughing he opened his eyes to see a shadowy figure towering over him. It stood still for a moment and then leaned down and wrapped it's hands around his throat.

Jack screamed at the top of his lungs and was silenced by Clair sitting up and throwing a pillow at him and then going back to sleep; completely missing the fact that there was an intruder in the house.

The figure quickly scrambled to Clair's bed, took her alarm clock and smashed it against it and then rolled onto the grass below before running towards the woods.

It was then that everything went blank, and Jack passed out.

* * *

When he awoke the next morning, he wasn't exactly sure any of it was real.

…..well, until he saw the busted alarm clock, and broken window. Fear ran through him as he began to relive the night.

Clair sat up in her bed; stretching. "What were you screaming about last night? Bad dream?"

"No! There was someone in the house trying to kill me!!" He got up and gave a paranoid glance around the room.

"Who?! The boogieman?"

"No Clair! Look at the window!"

She turned towards the window that was right next to her bed and gasp. "OH NO! REAL LIVE BOOGIEMAN!!"

She then got up and sat on Jack's bed. "He was right next to me Jack! Right next to me! I could have died!! Why didn't you wake me up?"

Jack face palmed and began to get dressed; he had to talk to the Harvest Goddess.

* * *

Jack made it to the pond and quickly placed a flower in the waters.

"Dum de dum dum!!!" The Harvest Goddess sang as she emerged but then frowned when she noticed Jack. "What?"

"What I did was an accident. Please, take this curse off of me! I can't live with it! This town's a handful without it."

The Goddess tilted her head to the side. "What curse?"

"You said you'd curse me for all of time!" He said slowly

"OH!!! That!" She laughed lightly "I was just mad at the time. Sorry if I scared you!"

Jack's head began to swim; the concept of 'no curse' didn't explain why all these things were happening to him. "But…my chicken coop….and the killer…."

"Nope, wasn't me!" She smiled as she slipped peacefully back into the pond and left Jack alone.

He walked back to the farm slowly; not in the happiest mood because he couldn't find the reason all these bad things kept happening to him. He wasn't looking where he was going so he bumped into someone and the only way he noticed was because the person shined a bright flashlight in his eyes.

"Victor! What are you doing here?!" Harris called as he moved the flashlight

"…it's Jack."

"Yeah, him too. Oh, did you hear? Zack broke out of jail yesterday!"

Jack's eyes widened

"But don't worry, Chester. I'll catch him!" Harris posed heroically causing Jack to sigh.

"I just hope he doesn't try to kill me in my sleep…" Jack started before everything started to make sense. The coop…the killer all had been Zack.

Oh crap as Clair would have said

He walked away from Harris slowly. Not only did he have Zack to worry about, but he also had to try to get a chicken coop out of Gotz soon or he would be sleeping on the floor forever!

All in all, Jack was relieved that the Harvest Goddess…superficial as she was, did not hold grudges. But he had also managed to make a new enemy out of the town carpenter.

A thought came into his head as he came to the entrance to the farm where Clair and Gray were waiting for him.

…Maybe he should have just gone to church!

* * *

**Author's note:** Did somebody volunteer the idea of something happening to the chicken coop? (I think so anyway…) well here it is! Now the Rick attack...soon to come. ^.^ Please review and tell me what you think.


	5. An Apple a Day

_**A/N:** Sorry Ch.5 took so long to come out. I had tons of work to do while school was still in and now that it's vacation i finally got time to update. _

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own Harvest Moon of ir's characters!_

_Chapter 5: An Apple a day_

It was evening time in Mineral Town; the sun was just beginning to sink behind the mountains in the distance. On Jack's farm no sound could be heard but the swinging of a hammer….

"Okay, so you hold it like this…and then swing!" Gray explained slowly and then stood back so Clair could try. He was attempting to teach her how to "properly" use a hammer.

"Like this?" She attempted to mimic his movements and swung the hammer right through the kitchen window where it smacked Jack in the back of the head with a loud 'THUD!'

Gary stood gaped as he stared at the broken window and the very angry Jack that was walking towards them. "No Clair, not like that…"

Jack stood; eyes swollen, nose running, and practically wheezing. "What the heck, guys!"

"Oh crap! Did we do that to you?" Clair gasps as she ran to the window and leaned in with a concerned gaze.

"No Clair, you only hit me in the head." He stammered then blew his nose. "I think I'm sick…"

"That sucks." Gray sighed "Maybe you'll feel better after some sleep?"

"I hope so…" Jack sniffed "I've been sleeping all day and it hasn't helped."

Clair wrinkled her nose at the thought. "Ewww! I don't want your germs in the house! I'll get sick!"

"…And?" Jack asked tilting his head

She crossed her arms and pouted lightly at the low concern her brother held over her health "And then Gray will get sick! And then Grandpa Saibara…."

Jack turned to Gray "Grandpa Saibara?"

He shrugged "I don't know…She's just been calling him that since she kidnapped my hat."

"…and then the whole town!" Clair continued in a campaigning voice; which caused Jack to sigh, knowing his sister was being over dramatic again. "An epidemic will sweep the nation! Millions will be consumed and it will have all started right here, through this very broken window!" She turned to Gray, grabbed his shoulders and shook him intensely "WE STARTED THIS!"

"CLAIR! STOP SHAKING ME! HE'S NOT GOING TO DIE! HE'S JUST SICK…." Gray struggled to shout as Clair continued to shake him senseless.

"YEAH, THAT'S HOW IT STARTS GRAY! HE DOESN'T WANT TO WORRY US SO HE'S PRETENDING THERE'S NO MONKEY ON HIS BACK AND THAT CHIPMUNKS AREN'T EATTING OUR SOULS…"

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"EVERY ONE JUST CALM THE FLIP DOWN!" Jack hoarsely screamed

Clair stopped shaking Gray and the two looked towards the tired boy standing before them.

"I'll just go to the clinic before it closes, they might have some sort of vaccine." He sighed while he placed a light coat on, walked out of the house, looked irritably at the two who were still standing by the broken window, and began to walk to the exit of the farm.

"Vaccine?" Clair pondered before turning to Gray "A Shot?" He nodded

"Do you want us to come with you?" Gray asked

"No, I'll be fine!"He started before Clair interrupted him

"But, you hate shots Jack!" She shouted to him

"I'll live it's just a little prick." He wanted to sound as brave as possible, he truly didn't want them to tag along; he needed a break from them.

"Okay…well make sure you come back cured! I don't want you getting me and Serena sick!" Clair called. He waved and closed the gate of the farm. He could just hear their voices as he headed towards the groveled road.

"Okay Gray, so how do you swing the hammer again? …..Like this?"

There was a loud crash of another window being broken.

Jack closed his eyes and tightened his jacket before his feet touched the paved streets.

The Clinic was located at the end of town next to the general store. It was a big official looking building with exactly 3 windows in the front; for which displayed well watered plants. Upon entering the building Jack instantly wished he didn't look so sick.

"Oh my, are you okay?" A young nurse called as she rushed from behind her desk to meet him at the door. She was tall and thin with shortly cut brown hair, wearing a long dress with a hospital apron and a warm smile on her face.

She was the most beautiful girl Jack had ever seen in Mineral Town.

"…Are you okay?" She asked again after noticing that Jack was just standing there; gawking at her.

He blinked twice "Uhhh….I'm….fine…."

"Oh? Then why are you here? Is someone you know sick?" She asked innocently; the worry falling from her face as she began to walk back to her desk.

Jack immediately cursed himself "I mean, I think I'm sick…"

The women waltzed back over to where he stood and took his hand in hers "Well, walk right this way sir."

His mind feel into a daze as this nurse took him deeper into the building and words couldn't begin to express how relieved he was to have found another normal person in Mineral Town. Honestly, after meeting a good 35% of the population here he didn't expect to see anyone completely normal. No, not like the people in the city; now those people were normal ….well aside from Clair that is. All he asked for was to find a hand fill of people who were sane! Just sane; nothing more and nothing less…now could the Harvest Goddess hate him that much to where she wouldn't even grant him this request?

Personally he didn't want to have that question answered.

The nurse lead Jack over to a tall black haired man who sat awkwardly hunched over a desk filled with piles of paper work.

"Doctor Trent, this man believes he is sick. Can you take a look at him?" she said as she placed her hand lightly on his shoulder.

The man swiveled around in his chair and ran his hand through his soft black locks before staring up at her with sparkling eyes "Of course I will Elli!"

The scene was so scripted and mundane it made Jack gag. Who was this guy and why was he visibly flirting with this nurse that Jack found himself so interested in?

The nurse Elli turned to Jack, squeezed his hand, and gave him a warm and comforting smile "I have to get back to the front desk, but I hope you feel better. What was your name again?" She asked

"Jack!" He smiled as brightly as he could without having to wheeze

She nodded curtly and swiveled on her heals; heading for the front desk. After she was out of sight Doctor Trent went to his desk were he pulled two latex gloves out of a small compartment. "So…Jack was it?"

Said boy nodded and for a split second he could have sworn he saw a twitch etch across the doctor's objective features.

"Okay, Jack "He started while pulling out a needle filled with a light pink fluid "I'm going to need to prick your back, just relax and try to pay attention to something else."

Jack pulled up his shirt to reveal his back and fear began to fill him as he realized that he couldn't think of anything else but how the needle was about to stab him.

He had to get out of there!

He attempted to run from the building; running out of the doctor's office and then through the reception area where he smashed directly into Gray. The two feel back onto the floor rubbing their heads.

"Oh my!" Elli exclaimed lightly under Clair's roar of laughter

Gray was the first one up. He dusted off his work suit and grabbed Jack's hand to help him up. "I would ask, but I really don't want to know." He smiled after Jack began dusting his own clothes off.

"Jack! What do you think you're doing?"Clair snapped, placing her hands on the small of his back and pushing him back towards the waiting Doctor.

Jack to the best of his ability tried to slow her down as he frantically thought of a way to get out. "I…uh forgot my wallet! Yeah, and without it I can't pay them soooo I need to go home and get it." He smiled contently at his lie; in reality he had forgotten his wallet and it was the perfect excuse to go home.

Contrary to what he thought, Clair only laughed "Silly Jack, what do you think we're here for? We brought your wallet, so now you can get all better and I won't catch monkey nucleuses !"

He just blinked at his sister's diagnosis of him. Since when did he have Monkey nucleuses?

Once Clair had successfully shoved Jack back into the Doctor's office with Gray trailing behind them Jack was seated on an operating table where the Doctor thumped the tip of the needle.

"Just relax Jack!" Gray reassured "It's just one little prick and then you can go home."

"Yeah!" Clair chimed in "But if not and you bleed to death can I have your sickle?" Thankfully he wasn't forced to answer that thanks to Gray dragging her to the other side of the clinic where they began to talk with Elli.

"Maybe talking will distract you…" The doctor mussed as he pulled the alcohol from the cabinet "How's the farm Jack?"

"Fine." He instantly replied

"How do you like the town?" He asked next as he rubbed the alcohol on the section where he was planning on sticking the needle.

"Eh" Was the only thing he could murmur

"Who is the most interesting person you've met so far?"

For some reason Elli's name rolled off his tongue without him giving much thought to it. Maybe it was because he was tense or that he truly found Elli interesting, whatever the case her named rolled off his lips instantly and without hesitation.

The Doctor seemed to freeze "So, you find Elli interesting?" he muttered bitterly enough for Jack to catch it. Before he could reply the needle was thrust into his back; forcefully, without warning, and without remorse.

"OWWW!" he cried but then smiled, it was all over and the deed was done. He could finally go home and…

"My apologies, I missed the vein." He said and before Jack could protest he stuck him again.

Jack gritted his teeth and hissed at the pain; this time it had felt as if he had plunged the needle deeper into his flesh.

"Hm, you flinched, Jack. I hit the wrong place again." He heard the man chuckle

Jack could have swore he was doing this on intentionally, in a panicked glance he looked from Clair to Gray to Elli who were all laughing about something or another at the front desk. He was on the brink of tears; he couldn't take another one of those painful stabs of that accursed needle and no one was paying any attention to them, no one saw that he was doing this on purpose!

"Let's try this again," he said, and jabbed the needle into Jack's back again, even harder than the last two times. "There, all done."

With a light whimper Jack pulled down his shirt and sent a shaky glare towards the smirking doctor. "Okay, I'm going to need you to sit here while I run some test and see what the problem is." Doctor smiled as he walked swiftly into the next room that was labeled Doctor's quarters, slamming the door roughly.

Without a word Jack slid himself from the table and joined the group who were still talking at the front desk.

Elli was the first to notice him "Oh are you done already?"

"Nah, the doctor went into the back room to run some test." He sighed in response

The mention of a back room had perked Clair's interest. Personally she had been watching too much of the Scooby doo marathon that had been on for the last 2 days, so the idea of a back room screamed suspicious. "Back room?" She mumbled and then rapidly turned to Elli "What's in the back room?"

"Nothing interesting, I'm sure. Although I'm not allowed back there so I wouldn't know…" She began until she was interrupted by Clair's loud outburst.

"Looks like we have a mystery on our hands, gang!"

Gray furrowed his eyebrows at her antics "I think you've been watching waaaaay too much Scooby doo."

"I think it's adorable." Elli giggled as the doctor crept out of the back room.

He cleared his throat "Jack, I'm sorry but your test results will take some time to develop so I'm going to have to ask you to stay overnight."

The concept of staying inside of a clinic over night left goose bumps on Jack's arms but he knew in order to get to the bottom of his sickness he'd have to, so despite what he wished he nodded.

The thing that surprised him the most was the fact that he was alone.

He could have sworn that when he was told he had to stay overnight at the clinic, Doctor and nurse Elli would be staying with him. But as soon as Gray dragged Clair out of the building shouting something about how she would solve the mystery, Doctor Trent and Elli muttered their good-bye's and locked the door behind them.

Now he was alone. In a way he was content with the quiet atmosphere of the place but the fact that it was a hospital simply ruined it. The cot he was lying on was stiff, the IV in the next room kept beeping too loud, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't scratch the spot on his back where the doctor had poked him so hard. Now that was torture!

…oh and everything else wasn't that peachy either.

The sound of tapping against the door interrupted his silent agony. He wasn't exactly sure if it was his place to answer the door after the clinic was supposed to be close, so he chose to ignore it until the loud crash of the window being broken made him sit up.

A frantic whisper of the word "Clair!" could be heard from Jack's room. He sighed; having already half expected it to be his sister, got up, and walked into the front room.

One of the long glass windows that framed the front of the building was broken quite sloppily along with a broken potted plant and the paper weight on Elli's desk. Next to all the mess stood Clair wearing a black hoodie and sweat pants, and Gray who had his head in his hands murmuring hundreds of curse words.

"Clair, what in the world are you doing here?" Jack asked suddenly, making both Gray and Clair jump in fright.

"Oh, Jack! Don't do that! We thought we were caught!" She sighed with relief while gripping at her heart.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her again "And how many windows are planning on breaking today?

"We're going to solve the mystery of the Doctor's quarters!" Clair muttered in a smooth monotone voice and then giggled senselessly.

Should have seen that coming

"Okay, but why are you wearing that?"

She looked down at her clothes and smiled "I'm an American ninja! It's supposed to help my stealth!" She then sighed and pointed her thumb at Gray who was wearing his regular work clothes "He wouldn't wear it though, so we might just end up getting caught anyway."

"Ugh, we're going to be caught because you don't give a care about how much noise you make!" Gray fumed "Besides, I never said I wanted to come in the first place!"

"But you promised Jack you'd watch me." She pouted innocently

"No I didn't!" He shouted in return

She dropped her pout and pulled out a flashlight "Well, just admit it! You have way more fun with me than anyone else in this tumble weed of a town! Now let's start this mission already!"

Jack and Gray sent each other exhausted looks as Clair flicked on her flashlight "Let's split up gang!"

"If we're going into the Doctor's quarters then why do we need to split up?" Jack asked crossing his arms and wondering when she would learn that not all the lines she memorized off of Scooby Doo would fit into this situation.

She narrowed her eyes "Well , just ruin the epic-ness!" She stomped and fussed until they reached the door, where she held up her hand and prevented them from walking in. "Before we go in, I have to tell you guys that whatever we find in here has to be kept secret between just us and…"

Before she could say anything else Gray moved her hand and opened the door. "Can we hurry this along? I gotta be at work at 5!"

Upon entering the quarters the first thing the group noticed was that it was dimly lit and filled with medical machines. The three all split up and picked an aisle to walk down.

"Oh well this is boring." Jack heard Gray chimed dully "Can we go now?"

Jack chuckled lowly at the comment until Clair's gasp made him stop. "Oh look!" She murmured happily "2 years ago Popuri was in danger of being anorexic!"

"Clair! That is personal information! You shouldn't be reading that!" Jack scolded as he turned on his heels in order to leave, however his attention was caught by a bulletin board that was cluttered with pictures.

The pictures were of Mineral Town's female population; every girl had been photographed while they were not paying attention (Minus Clair of course who was waving in hers). The weird part was that every picture except for Elli's had been crossed out with a red marker. The rest of the board was filled with random pictures of Elli.

"Guys!" He called as he heard steady footsteps heading towards him. Both Gray and Clair gasp when they finally noticed the pictures.

"HEY!" Clair called when she noticed that her picture had been crossed out and Elli's hadn't. "What makes her so special?"

"I think this means he's stalking Elli." Gray muttered as Clair went on about how it wasn't fair.

"Guy, I think we need to get out of here." Jack called, grabbing both of them and dragging them back into his hospital room. "Maybe that's why he kept poking me with that flipping needle…" He pondered as the front door to the clinic opened and there was a low mumble of 'Holy crap!'

The Doctor came into the room; with furrowed brows "What happened…"

"Don't ask!" They all said at the same time

He sighed and looked at the papers in his hand "Well, Jack I'm happy to tell you that you are not sick. You're just having an allergic reaction to what seems to be…." He closer looked at the papers and scratched his head "Feathers?"

Jack's eyes widened, He was having an allergic reaction to that stupid chicken Clair let sleep in his bed? Of all the….

"CLAIR!" He began

She waved her hands in defense "Serena's innocent! I swear!" She then turned to Doctor "And you! I need to have a few words with you."

"About what?" He asked as she pushed him into the next room

"About that little picture collection you have in your back room…"

"Oh that….." He murmured nervously "…What do you want from me?"

"You know what I want!" She laughed as Jack and Gray heard boxes being packed before she laughed again "Yeah, that's right! All the Energy Drinks!"

After hearing this, the two boys sighed

"She knows darn well she doesn't need any energy drinks!" Gray laughed lightly

"Yeah, but I wouldn't mind one though, it doesn't look like we'll be getting any sleep tonight…" Jack smiled wearily looking at the clock that blinked 6:15 am

Looking at it Gray gasped "Crap I'm late for work!" Before running out of the clinic

Jack leaned back on the cot that he had been laying on all night. He hadn't the slightest clue how he was going to pay for a new chicken coop, and until he did he would have to deal with his allergies. Leaning his head further back into the pillow he decided to take it all in stride but there was one thing he had to make sure he did before he made the clinic another one of the places in Mineral Town he couldn't go…

"Clair! While your black mailing the doctor can you please get me about a month's supple of allergy med's? Thanks!"

This was going to be one heck of a month!


End file.
